Enneagram: "A Tool For Compassion" - Sleeping At Last

This. This. This.
SLEEPING AT LAST
Years ago, I was in the passenger seat of my friend Jason's car, and we were driving around in LA.  He turns on music by this artist "Sleeping At Last".  I tell him I've never heard of them.  He tells me that when I listen to his songs, I'm gonna cry. 

First of all, whenever someone hypes something up like that, even if I want to be impacted by it, I already start building up a wall and brace myself to be disappointed. He turns on the album "Yearbook".  We sit quietly in the car in LA traffic, listening.  And there I am, a few minutes into one of the songs, and I'm in tears.  I immediately laugh in disbelief and say "HOW DID THAT HAPPEN"? 😭😭😭

ENNEAGRAM
Fast forward to a few months ago when I was introduced (for the 2nd time) to the Enneagram.  Years ago, our friends in NY tried to turn my wife and I onto this personality test - and I immediately gave up trying to understand it.  Probably because an example of the worst version of my enneagram type was OJ Simpson, and for Jinny, it was Woody Allen.  I didn't want to know anymore. 😂

But this 2nd time around, it stuck (thanks to Doug and Adele Calhoun - who I also happen to work with!).  In fact, I became OBSESSED about learning everything I can about it - because unlike other personality tests that merely assess you as you are and leave it at that, the Enneagram can show you specifically what steps you can take to become a BETTER version of your true self.  Let me unpack that a little.  There are a total of 9 Enneagram types, and out of the 9,  everyone has a predominant type (and some would argue that we are born with this dominant type).  I can either be a "healthy" version of that number, or "unhealthy" version (and there's middle of the road too).  It depends on the state or season that I'm in, but the fact that I'm that number really doesn't change.  If you take a good test, it tells you what you can do to become a healthier version.  I don't know if that makes sense, but I'm really BLAZING through this because I don't want to really EXPLAIN the ENNEAGRAM here, I want to talk about what I'm excited to tell you about!  (But if you want to learn more about the Enneagram, THIS IS A GOOD PLACE TO START)

NOW, PUT THOSE TWO TOGETHER
Late this summer, I found out that "Sleeping At Last" is going to start a new project where he's going to write songs from the perspective of each enneagram type!  I already knew I was going to love it, and I couldn't wait!  And finally, last month there it was in my inbox, an email from Sleeping At Last, with a link to the new song: ONE. 

It's as beautiful as I expected it to be.

This is just so many of my favorite things coming together!  Simply gorgeous music with rich insightful lyrics, diving deep into each personality type.  And it gets better.  I just realized there is a podcast that Ryan O'Neal (of Sleeping At Last) started just a few months ago where he explains his process of writing songs, and in episode 4, he dissects ONE for us.  He starts going into all the reasons why specific musical choices were made, and how they help personify a Type 1 in musical form, and I'll tell ya...  Mind. Blown.  Seriously, the enneagram lover, the producer & the musician in me is just GEEKING OUT every single minute of this podcast (honestly, if I was still doing music - I would just give up after listening to this because it's literally everything I wish I would have done if I was genius enough to even think about doing it!), and I can't really do it justice by regurgitating everything Ryan talks about, so if you are any of the following (Enneagram lover, a Type 1, someone who cares about Type 1s, a music lover, a musician with studio experience, or producer) - trust me, and listen to this episode.  It is chock-full of good stuff:

EPISODE 4 "ONE" & The Enneagram

But what I love the most, and what really brings it all together is how he describes what the Enneagram is to him.  He called it "A Tool For Compassion".  YES!  I resonate so much with that description.  I remember when I first began understanding how the Enneagram worked, not only did I obsess over learning more about myself, I started reading up on EVERY type.  Then I started running through the Enneagram types of all the important people in my life, and if I happened to know their number - things began to click.  If I didn't, I tried to take a guess at what numbers my friends/loved ones were (and a decent amount of times, I was right 😁).  I started having empathy for those people as I began to understand better how they were wired.  Then I started to wonder what my 2 year old son's enneagram type might be, and how I might be able to equip him for success to be the healthiest version of that type!

I want to be healthy.  I want to connect with those I love.  At the core, this is why I'm a huge fan of The Enneagram.  And now, thanks to Sleeping At Last, we can all literally have a "soundtrack of our lives".

EDIT (11/17/17) - QUICK NOTE TO THOSE WONDERING WHERE THEY CAN HEAR THE SONGS:
The Enneagram songs are part of a series called ATLAS 2.  You can find the songs on iTunes and on,  SPOTIFY (they are the latest songs in the Playlist)  BUT what I really suggest is that you listen to his podcast where he explains the song AND you can hear the song there as well (or if you're already a SAL fan or JUST became a fan - SUBSCRIBE to his mailing list and you'll get all the goodness before it's public!)

PS - Without cheating, since I have the info in my "About Section", if you know me, and know the enneagram - what would you guess my number to be? :)

Always Reply All

I apologize, that title up there was meant to grab your attention (wow, was that my first clickbait?!),  but I'm not going to talk about email etiquette so you can opt out now if you don't want to read anymore... OR.... stay and read about a podcast I am a huge fanboy of!  Yeah... this entry is about how I ALWAYS listen to REPLY ALL, so you know... legit title, right? :)

One of these days, I'll post about my favorite podcasts that I subscribe to, but today is a short and sweet *mwah mwah* (those are like kissing sounds that are sometimes used to make fun of people who kiss up to people in case that didn't come across!) to one of my TOP 5 Podcasts: REPLY ALL.  

At first, I was going to highlight only ONE of my favorite episodes, which I will, but first I'm gonna riff a bit on why I am addicted to listening to these two fine gentlemen: Alex Goldman & PJ Vogt.

First, I've been really out of the loop, so I didn't even know that Podcast Journalism was a thing, and I haven't really listened to many forms of that except for "Serial", which is also great - but this is podcast journalism at its best (not that I have any real qualifications to say that, but there I said it!)  These guys cover a LOT of ground, and their show basically covers all things interesting that are happening on the internet, so there's a little bit of everything for everyone - and you'll also learn a thing or two here and there!

Second, Alex & PJ are just a killer combo.  The first thing you'll notice w/in the first 5 minutes is their LAUGHS.  Especially PJ's.  It is infectious and sometimes even influences the way I laugh (and I'm not even trying to be influenced!).  But these two are not only sharp, but super likeable in their own ways, and complement each other well in their personalities, and have a way about relating to each other (while delivering amazing content) that makes you want to be sitting in the room with them.  It's impossible to imagine NOT having a good conversation with them at any given time.  

Here are a few of my favorites in no particular order:

1.  LONG DISTANCE
When you receive a phone call w/ an unidentified number, but decide to pick up anyway and realize that yet again it is an unwanted marketing call OR there's a chance someone is trying to scam you - most people just hang up the phone.  But not Alex Goldman.  No spoilers, but he not only stays on the phone with the person, but ends up going out of his way to learn more and expose the people on the other end.  This is a two part episode and it is RIVETING!

2. ZARDULU
When all of a sudden, you find that there might have been way more to the pizza rat and selfie rat that meets the eye.

3. FACEBOOK SPYING ON YOU
So many of us have a huge love & hate relationship with social media, but THIS episode brings the feeling of uneasiness to a new level, and makes it a little too close to home - like actually inside your home.  And yet, I can't seem to delete my account, so what does that say about me?!   But this episode is the most recent, and the one I really came here to talk about today -  but I'm too big of a REPLY ALL fanatic to NOT give you a bit more to chew on!

Also, here's a list directly from GIMLET/REPLY ALL for first time listeners.

Give your daily commute an upgrade, and SUBSCRIBE to REPLY ALL Y'ALL!

PS - Shout out to my bud G. Sing who turned me onto this podcast!

PIVOT: Part 1 [Andrew Osenga Podcast]

Pivot.  I’ve been thinking a lot about this word these days.  I love this word for several reasons, especially during this particular season of my life.  But before I get into it, if you haven’t ever seen the Friends episode with Pivot, check out the video below.  You’re welcome.

For me, this goes down in history as one of the best TV sitcom moments ever.  I watched this again last night to relive the Pivot hilarity, and I just lost it. My wife too, who almost never laughs at anything I show her on the internet or in pop culture that I find funny.  Even she laughed!  Literally, every time I think about the word “Pivot”, this is what comes to mind first!

But the second and more important thing that comes to mind is how we use this word in the context of careers or big life changes.  What I like about this word even better than “transition” or “shift” is that it lends itself to the idea that ultimately, I stay rooted in who I am and I just merely turn and face a slightly different direction.  All my experiences in life and skills I’ve accrued along the way - I still have them and get to use them, but maybe for a different group of people… or the SAME people but in a different way.

MY PIVOTY JOURNEY
I experienced a major Pivot when I went from being a full time singer/songwriter/musician to becoming a Worship Director/Pastor.  After almost 10 years of ‘facing this direction’, I see on the horizon some sort of pivot happening again.  I don’t know what it is, or what it will look like - but I see it coming eventually and so I’ve been taking this time to hit the brakes, pull over to the side from my “get it done” lifestyle, and truly examine myself, my personality, my skillset, and all that I’ve been through in the last two decades of my life.  When I found myself in this headspace, which has been pretty often these days, the first thing I wanted to do was to be able to glean some wisdom from people who have already successfully pivoted, or listen to stories of people who are experiencing it currently.  As it turns out, I knew a few people.

And here’s where I’ll ‘pivot’ in this entry to embrace my fanboyness to share about two people I’m a big fan of.  (I'll cover the 2nd person in Part 2)

ANDREW OSENGA: THE PIVOT
I’ll begin with Andrew Osenga.  I actually have to try REALLY hard right now to NOT lose focus and not go on and on about Andrew Osenga’s music career, his angelic voice that can turn on a dime and go full out rockstar with no autotune needed, the fact that he played guitar and sang on two of my albums (While We Wait & Parallel), and how I obsessed for a really long time over one of his albums he recorded in a SPACESHIP  he created by himself.  Again, I’m trying really hard NOT to go into all of that right now.  Instead, I’m gonna talk about something ELSE he did on TOP of all that - a podcast he created, called THE PIVOT.

In season 1 of his podcast, he talks to several people (9 to be exact) who have experienced pivots in their lives (both in careers and life in general), and a huge bonus for me is that he actually interviews 4 people I’ve been a huge fan of in different seasons of my life (Andrew Peterson, Bebo Norman, Dan Haseltine of Jars of Clay, and Dave Barnes).  My favorite by far is his episode with Dave Barnes (another artist I can go on and on about).  It’s incredibly comforting listening to people I can truly relate with.   Seriously.  There aren’t a lot of people around where I live that I’m currently friends with that I can talk to and say “remember that time we were struggling to be singer songwriters, and then life happened, and we had to adjust accordingly”?

I also need to add:  Osenga knows how to interview people!  He is SO good!  It's a skill that not too many podcast hosts have.  It doesn't hurt that he's got a really soothing voice, but tie that in with the fact that Osenga knows when to be quiet, when to jump in and help the person out to complete or summarize their thoughts, and when to inject some humor, and... when to cry :)   One pet peeve I have is when the interviewers (in trying to relate) starts talking about themselves and makes it all about THEM and not the subject.  Even that, he does well.  He'll tell a quick little story.  In.  Out.  Boom.  Done.       

But back to my point -  even if you’re not a singer/songwriter, it’s a great listen.  Favorite interview goes to Dave Barnes.  As expected, really funny - but also moving and convicting at times (especially his take on being a parent and being a musician #realtalk).  The podcast in general is a great sneak peak into the lives of indie musicians who ended up having great success in their careers.

Go ahead and check it out!  THE PIVOT

Andrew Peterson, Bees, and Honey

Who's got time to read?  Cuz I can already tell this is gonna be a long one.  But the person I'm about to talk about is w/o a doubt on my top 5 list of most influential people in my life and someone I've been a super-fan of for a really long time.  So this is the opposite of 'ain't nobody got time for that'.  Imma take my time w/ Andrew Peterson, and there's no TLDR version :)

Ever hear that saying "We should never meet our heroes"?  If you haven't, and you're wondering why that saying exists, it's probably because many people who actually GET to meet their heroes end up being disappointed - and it could be for one of many reasons.  Your hero can be a jerk, completely boring, fake, etc.  Andrew Peterson, however, might just be that ONE hero I met that not only exceeded my expectations during our first encounter, but remained one of my favorite people on earth - till this day.   What qualifies me to say that?  I actually ended up spending a decent amount of time with him.  As I begin to collect my thoughts for this entry, and I think about how kind he has been to me over the years, I have to admit I am welling up a little bit!  Good thing I'm sitting in the corner of a cafe, facing away from everyone :)

For those who are new to Andrew Peterson, I honestly can't find the best entry point for you to discover his wealth of amazing works.  Just too much stuff!  (but here's a quick list if you've got some time)  He's mostly known for his singer/songwriter career, but more recently (well, not THAT recently) he's become an author and also started THE RABBIT ROOM - which is a "website and community that fosters spiritual formation and Christ-centered community through story, art, and music. They host a yearly conference, publish books, and put on concerts".  

But I'm not here to talk so much about his works today.  I'm here to talk about Andrew, the person.  And I hope after reading about him, you'll check out his work too!

FAN BOY STRIKES AGAIN
I met Andrew in Cambridge (might have been Harvard) when he was opening up for Caedmon's Call.  As it often happens at many concerts I've attended, the opener was my favorite!  I was a college student, who had just written his first small batch of original songs - and then after listening to Andrew Peterson I just wanted to quit.  (Thankfully I didn't :)) Artists, you can relate!  I mean, this guy can WRITE, and he's only gotten better over time.  Part of it is because he's such an amazing story teller.  Just recently, I found myself listening to a podcast he was being interviewed in, where he talked about beekeeping, and there I was in the car with a single tear rolling down my face, listening to him talk about bees and honey!  It's all within the first ten minutes of the episode, so give it a listen.  You'll know what I mean.   But that's just the type of person and artist that Andrew Peterson is.  So after getting my first taste of his storytelling/music at this concert back in 1998, I saw him hanging out near the front stage after the show.   Of course I fan-boy approached him and asked for a photo together, etc.   Fast forward to a few years later,  I'm sitting with him in his home in Nashville, and we're listening to my sophomore album together (its entirety), offering encouragement and super helpful constructive criticism (not to mention he did this for me w/ my first album and even made a guest appearance on it!).  Who does that?!  But I'm getting ahead of myself.  Let me go back to the earlier days - back to the 90s!

CAME FOR THE MUSIC, STAYED FOR THE HOSPITALITY
The 2nd time I went to see him play his own show in Boston, I got there early and I often do this because I'm afraid I won't get good seats at a general admissions concert.  Turns out I got there TOO early, and I ended up seeing Andrew at the venue, walking around and getting ready.  He tells me he's gonna go eat dinner that the venue prepared for him, and says that it looks like there's only enough food for him and his band, otherwise he'd invite me to eat with them.   Already, that is way more than kind & thoughtful - and I expect nothing more from him.  But then he says "Wait a minute!".  Runs off, comes back in a few minutes w/ a piece of paper with a list of restaurants he found that were nearby and says he hopes that'll help.   Again, who does that?! 

THE AFTER SHOW
The 3rd time I saw him, I emailed him in advance and mustered up the courage to ask if he'd be willing to hear some songs I'd written.  He says he'd be happy to.  So, I bring my guitar to his concert, and wait till the show is over, and I go back stage and play him and his band member Gabe Scott (another amazing guy I can talk about at length) a few songs!  I'll be honest.  I KNOW they were bad songs.  Definitely to my standards now, but I'm gonna say pretty amateur at best even for back then in 1999.  But he was generous with his time, listened to them, offered some positive comments, and then Gabe showed me how to play some cool guitar lines.  It was a dream come true. 

THE OPENER
As I began my own journey in music, I saw how people like Andrew Peterson and Bebo Norman benefited by being given a chance to tour with bigger bands like Caedmon's - so I mustered up the courage yet again to see if Andrew would be willing to let me open for him at one of his shows.   To my surprise and delight, he said yes!  In hindsight, this was a pretty huge deal (and it was already kind of a big deal back then to begin with).  The difference between me opening for Andrew and Andrew opening for Caedmon's is that he got asked by Caedmon's, and in my case, I was the one who asked.  So really, Andrew didn't have to oblige AT ALL.  He was just being nice, because being brutally honest - I don't even know if I would have let me open up for me!  I had no experience performing (except for a handful of shows), and my music and writing were truly mediocre at best.  I'm not trying to be self-deprecating, just self-aware.  I was very much at the stage where my "taste" was light years beyond my abilities.   But he gave me a chance, time and time again.  And in my entire music career in music, I have several things that I'm super proud of having been a part of but only a few things I secretly want to brag about haha - and one of them is that I got to open for Andrew during his first tour (with Silers Bald) of his very first iteration of what would eventually become the epic and legendary "Behold The Lamb of God" Christmas Concert (with all original material written be Andrew).  Yes, I was somehow an opener of an opener for that! 

I don't mean to make this blog entry about me, but I'm trying to highlight how much of an impact he's made on me, just ONE person - so much so that I still remember many instances of his kindness, almost 20 YEARS after we first met.

Believe it or not, there are many more moments like these, both big and small, in which Andrew has impacted my life, but I can't get into them w/o writing a novel!

There are a few huge lessons I learned during time spent with Andrew:

How To Treat A Super-Fan
I was SUCH a fanboy, but he really took the time to treat me as an individual and cared more about helping me out beyond seeing what he can get out of me as a fan.  This is incredibly rare and difficult to sustain - especially as your fan base increases.   But for someone like me who had a niche following and music career,  Andrew's example and model were what shaped the way I treated my small friends & supporters, and I wouldn't have done it any other way.

Not Taking Yourself Too Seriously
Although I probably had tons of nervous energy around him because I was too excited, he kept cool.  He was himself.  He's like the Tom Hanks of the Indie Christian Music world.  You hear him talk, you see him on stage, or see videos on youtube - and you get the sense that that's how he is in real life.  And he is!  He's vulnerable, authentic, and approachable - and I don't get the sense that he's changed AT ALL even after all his success.

Rolling With The Punches
Related to not taking yourself too seriously - if you've ever seen him perform, you almost want something to go wrong (haha! Sorry Andrew!).  WHY? Because he handles it with such grace and humor.  I've been to shows where the artist messes up and it gets SUPER awkward.  If Andrew forgets a lyric or plays a wrong chord, it's like a WIN for the audience because we'll get a touch of his humor and on-the-fly problem solving capabilities.  This was paramount for me in developing my own stage presence over the years!

Again, there's so much more I can say - and there's a chance his name will pop up on this blog from time to time - but I'll wrap this up here for now.

Andrew, if you're out there reading this.  Thank you not only for being an amazing artist, but for being humble and generous enough to invite others onto your platform of success.  I might not be doing music anymore (or at least for the time being), but if there was ever a true friend-hero I've had the pleasure of getting to know in my life,  it would be you.  Can't wait for what's ahead in your journey!

Your Superfan,
Koo

PS - If you're a fellow AP fan out there, please share your favorite songs of his down below in the comments!

Sivers & The Art of Keeping Things Simple

It would only be appropriate to start with writing about a few key people who have most recently influenced me to start blogging (whether they know it or not).  1st up is a man named Derek Sivers.  Many of you might not have heard of him, but thousands upon thousands of indie artists owe Derek BIG!  Ever heard of a site called CDbaby.com?  It's a site where I was able to sell my CDs without having to do it myself (so that I can have more time to do things like, write music!)  This was back many years ago when it wasn't as easy for indie artists like myself to set up e-commerce on our websites.  CD baby also got my music onto iTunes - which way back when seemed like it was only a platform for well established artists.  If you have more time, check out how CD Baby got started.  That alone is an amazing story!

I'd get emails from Derek (at the time who was the president of the company) with encouraging notes about CD sales I made.  And I actually got REAL emails from him checking in on me to see if I was still doing music.  Eventually, I'd occasionally receive emails with extremely practical and beneficial tips for those who had independent music careers like mine.  I loved that these emails were really short, and just had links I can click on if I wanted to read more.

Then one day, out of nowhere I got an email that said the following:

New article you might find interesting:
Quitting what you love : https://sivers.org/quit
It includes my little announcement of something I'm quitting after 22 years.

I was intrigued.  I read the above link, then started going down the rabbit hole that is Sivers' website, and discovered that he's been making a series of incredibly radical decisions about his life and his career.  Everything from moving to a different country, selling his company CD Baby and then NOT keeping the money he got from it.  This guy does what he wants!

THEN, I read his entry about parenting.  He spent the last 5 years spending at least 30 hours with his son every week giving him his full attention.  Talk about #dadgoals .  More than anything else he's accomplished, that... THAT is inspiring. 

Sivers is a THINKER, and he lays out all his thoughts in an extremely organized manner.  His website is the most amazing minimalist self-cross-referencing site ever.  You know that he is incredibly smart, but he chooses simple words and communicates clearly.  I want my blog to be like his site.  And I don't say this about a lot of people, but I want my LIFE to kind of look like his too.